Done to Death

   

A short while ago, we lost a family member. This started a conversation, once again, between my daughter and me.

What, she wanted to know, should she do with my body once I die?

In my early teens, my mother received instructions on what to do if I died. I was adamant that no casket should be bought. They could simply put me in a box my father had built for me—a big pine Kist, cut off the pieces that wouldn’t fit (my legs), pack them around me and bury me in my box. My mom had a great sense of humor and thought my instructions were hilarious!

In my opinion, I’ll be gone. Only my body will be left behind and I’ve honestly never seen the point of spending a fortune on someone who’s gone, and let’s face it, funerals are expensive.

On the one hand, I’m at a loss as to why it’s so important to her. I’m not a sentimental person.

On the other hand, her concerns resonate on some level. Years ago upon moving to a suburb close to the cemetery where my grandfather is buried,  I asked my family where his plot was. I didn’t know him but wanted to connect with my ancestor at the time. The thing is, only three of his seven children actually knew where his grave was.

The family member who recently passed was Catholic and wished for his remains to be cremated and scattered in the sea. I discovered that while the Catholic Church now allows cremation, it forbids the scattering of ashes, they have to be buried.  

My son follows Islam, and cremation goes completely against his faith, so he wasn’t permitted to participate.  This, along with my daughter’s question led me to look at unfamiliar rites to see the options people around the world have.

Personally, I love African funerals and would like to go into them, but Africa’s a big continent and it’ll take a whole lot of pages to begin to even scratch the surface.

Day of the Dead parade

I had to start with the Dia de Los Muertos, a South American tradition celebrated mostly in Mexico.  It takes place over two days—usually the 1^st and 2^nd of November, when the living make offerings to the departed through temporary altars adorned with photos, favorite foods, marigolds, and include representatives of the four elements; earth, wind, fire, and water.  It’s a colorful fiesta to communicate with those who have passed on. The offerings are made to encourage them to come from the land of the dead and join in the fun. It’s a wonderful tradition about celebrating life rather than mourning death. People dress up, paint their faces and wear costumes.  There’s reminiscing, dancing, music and singing.

Whilst researching the subject of burial rites, I found that they have more to them than I’m able to capture here and I narrowed the list down to those I thought were really interesting. These are those that piqued my interest.

For the practical:

1.       Sky Burials – In Tibet and parts of China and Mongolia where Buddhism is practiced, bodies are dismembered, taken to a high point, such as a mountain top or cliff, and left for the birds and animals to eat. The remaining bones are then ground up and fed to hawks and crows. It’s seen as a final act of kindness to give sustenance to other creatures on the earth. On a practical note, the ground in these areas is too hard to dig up for burials and wood is scarce which means cremation is also not a viable option.

Eternal reef burials – The ashes of the dead are mixed into a neutral PH balanced concrete and formed into a ball. It’s placed on the ocean floor and the idea is that coral will attach itself and grow, and marine life will populate the area. Again, a practical use where other life forms benefit, this seems to be most popular in the USA in the Florida area and has increased in popularity recently.

Death beads – the ashes from a cremated body are compressed into colorful beads. They are often kept in a jar or urn in the home to honor the deceased so they don’t become an unsettled spirit. In South Korea, space is an issue and burial plots are in short supply. It seems to be a relatively recent way of disposing of remains.

Odd but fun:

1.       The Philippines have many rites, but here’s a fun one—The dead are dressed in their finest clothes and placed sitting in a chair usually at the front door, with a cigarette in their mouth. The cigarette is replaced and in some cases, the body stays for several months and sometimes years.

 Jazz Funerals – We’ve all seen movies where a body is paraded through the streets of New Orleans led by a jazz band. The band plays sad music from the home to the graveyard. After the funeral, the band plays upbeat music at a party held in the deceased person’s honor.

Kiribati Skull Burial – Months after the body has been buried, the body is exhumed and the skull removed. It is polished and preserved and often displayed in the home. Offerings of food and tobacco are sometimes made to it. When the teeth fall out, they may be worn on necklaces. Eventually, the skull is reburied with the top sticking out of the ground.

Oh, my horrors:

1.       Funerary Cannibalism – The dead are cremated and the ashes mixed with food into a paste. This is then eaten to absorb the knowledge of the deceased. A variation allows the body to decompose until a certain point and then stuff it in a big urn. The body ferments and the juices are mixed in with the family’s food.  As far as I can tell it is only still practiced in the Amazon. It is seen as a way to honor the life of the deceased.

All-time favourite:

1.       Famadihana—practiced in Madagascar, the family of the deceased dig up the bones every 5 to 7 years. At this point, they clean them, perfume them, re-wrap the bodies in clean burial cloths and re-write their names on the cloths. They are then introduced to new members of the family (they meet their ancestors/descendants).  All attending are treated to a feast, and the dead are spoken to and danced with. Imagine, me dancing with my family to Shake, Rattle and Roll by Bill Haley! Yes, uncle Vic, I’m thinking of you!

Back to my daughter. A few years ago, she mentioned she wanted my ashes turned into a diamond pendant so I could always be with her. It’s a nice sentiment but I’m an organ donor so I don’t know what’ll be left—if anything. Feed the sharks, plant a tree on top of me, cremate me and scatter my ashes, or keep them. It’s totally her decision.

 

* Top picture courtesy of pexels.com by Richard-Loya-5070454

 *Centre Picture courtesy of pexels.com by Amaury-8757646