Walking with the gods

With my 52nd birthday just around the corner, I am reflecting on the path I have walked this half century.

I was, like many of us, brought up in a Christian home. My first experience of God was a low-key Sunday visit to the local Anglican church where a frocked minister led a strictly prescribed service, which as a child, I found captivating and otherworldly at first, but tedious as I grew older and used to it. That was about the sum of religion in our home and the rest of the week was pretty secular. My parents were members of the local Round Table, a charity organisation that held fund raisers several times a year. We spent many weekends playing outside the clubhouse with other kids, while the parents partied inside. When I turned 13, my parents left the RT and went away on a weekend only to return reborn Christians and might I say, very different people.

We joined a new charismatic church which was intriguing at first, but after some years, the church politics and the many questions I had in my reasoning mind, that no-one seemed to be able to answer began to put me off. In my later teen years I became uninterested and drifted away.

My father continuously 'encouraged' me to return, often with emotional blackmail, which spoiled our relationship somewhat. When I went to boarding school, I drifted further away and noticed their influence on my two younger sisters, when I came home on weekends.

Once during high school, and once during my military service, I reached out to God and recommitted myself, during lonely phases, when I felt I needed a spiritual confidant. On both occasions, two older peers approached me, under the guise of Christian brothers that I could confide in, but on both occasions they had other motives. Sexual motives, which once I realized, made me deeply angry.

Seven years later, recently married and expecting our first child, my father again insisted I/we return to his church for the support a young family - 'aught to have'.

After much nagging he convinced me to help him lead a group course over some week, for the purpose of  inviting new members.

The course, in my opinion, was bogus, highly assumptive and full of holes. I prayed to God for real answers to my questions and on the second week of the course, one of the girls in my group offered me a book to read. The book was Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsh. I was captivated by the answers and although I now consider it as only a first step, I was consumed by it and couldn't put it down. It was my introduction to New Age ideas. I got my hands on seven more in the series and read them all in record time.

From there my path led me to Buddhism - reading the Bardo Thordal, ( Tibetan Book of the Dead) Carl Jung and the Dalia Lama's interpretations of Buddhist dharma. I sought out a few visiting monks and spent time with them, learning to meditate. Then I discovered Yoga and enrolled in the local school. I studied Patenjali's Sutras and the Eight Fold Path and became an avid Yoga practitioner and teacher with two of my own classes for more than a year. Then one weekend on an unrelated workshop, I met a Lakota shaman who introduced me to Native American mythology. I was smitten. I joined his medicine society and he took us on regular sweat lodges into the mountains. It was very authentic, men only, with rough and harsh initiations.

During that time I had an encounter with a large Bull Masif that attacked me and put me in hospital for four days. I considered him my 'wolf teacher' and never sued the owners, for fear the dog would be put down.

Soon after that, on my last sweat lodge in the Cederberg one weekend, one of the participants stood up and did an invocation to Odinn, in old Norse. My body shuddered and goose flesh over took me, while my mind drifted far away. I felt as though I had heard these words before, although they were completely foreign.

Some time later, I read Donna Darkwolf's book, Dancing under an African Moon and asked the universe to allow us to 'bump into each other', as I discovered that she lived in the same town as I did.

Within a month or so, I went to the bank one day and there btw the glass doors stood this Egyptian looking woman in a Kaftan, with a large Ank, or pentagram dangling between her braless breasts, like an exhibit in a museum. I introduced myself as she exited and asked for an audience with her, but she was not friendly. Rather suspicious, she wanted to know why. I read your book, I said and have some questions. Ok then, she agreed to meet as long as I had no further agendas. I assured her that I did not. She had received a lot of negative press in our conservative dorp.

Our meeting was short but we got on rather well. She invited me back several times and I eventually began to design rituals and talks for her groups.

A few years later, and a devotee to Odinn, as I remain to this day, she encouraged me to become a Registered Marriage Official since she had the channels to make it happen. I agreed, studied the Acts and took the exam.

Several months later on holiday with my wife and some friends in Thailand, I fell into a fire at a hedonistic beach party in Kho Pangan and burned myself rather badly, after a stupid act that I knew I would not pull off successfully, but did it anyway, as if steered by an unseen force. Not alcohol.hat 

The next morning, licking my wounds as it were, I received a call from Donna, telling me that I had passed the exam and I was now officially CAM's first RMO. I told her about my 'accident' the night before and in her usually blasé manner said, " Its your baptism of fire, Shaman. Odinn is a wiley deity. Be careful what you ask for. When he gives, he also takes away." 

Our professional relationship continued until her passing in 2017. I watched her denounce all her spiritual affiliations and abandon her once huge ego. 

At her memorial I met many of her friends and one in particular had a massive impact on my life. In true Odinic style, completely upturning my world, taking away much that I had held dear, but rewarding me at the same time with many gifts and resources I could not even have wished for. A relationship like this I had never known. To both of us, an indecribable detriment and blessing at the same time. Like meeting your favourite family member, that you never even knew you had.

While my career, marriage and other relationships including with my parents, went through a terrifying metamorphosis, I have been endowed with gifts beyond measure. Like Odinn, who sacrificed one eye, I have also lost 50% of my hearing in this process, and doctors cannot determine why.

Odinn truly hears my calls and knows better what I need, than I do. Far more engaging than the God of my childhood who seems indifferent to prayer, I stand in awe on this road less travelled, but warn any wannabe Odinson, to be very very careful of what you might ask of the All Father. Be ready to have your spiritual house demolished.

Fire Blessings

 

FIRE. 

The word conjures up thoughts of its beauty and warmth, and of its potential to destroy.  It burns. Almost all life is susceptible to fire. The smoke, the flames and the heat capture our imagination and draw us in.  Occasionally we hear of other natural states related to fire such as a volcano about to erupt, a tree struck by lightning, solar flares, and every year there is news covering forest fires from California to the Cape Province. Firefighters and volunteers rush out to help save people, animals and property while we watch in fascination.

And fascinating it is. It’s a theme that’s been used in countless movies. Sitting around a campfire or in front of an open fireplace; we find ourselves mesmerised by the yellow, orange, gold, and by the red glow of the embers. We’ve all been around a fire, toasting marshmallows, having a braai (similar to a barbeque), gathered for warmth, singing songs, or swopped tall tales. For as long as man has been able to make fire, it’s been a place where memories are made, social connections are formed and communities have gathered. This is one thing all humankind, regardless of geographic origins, has in common.

We associate fire with one of the five points of the pentacle (or pentagram, whichever you prefer), it sits south in a circle and in feng shui it represents inspiration and expression. It is affiliated to the zodiac signs Aries, Leo and Sagittarius and is one of the five Chinese elements. Religion uses fire on the one hand as a threat (you’ll burn in the fires of hell), and on the other, it’s used to light incense to purify the space and congregants. In numerology, it is given the number nine, which represents endings. Personally, my brain associates the number nine with the protea and phoenix, both are destroyed by the flames, and both rise again from the ashes.

I think it’s interesting to note the colours associated with fire, yellow, orange and red are also the colours of the base, sacral and solar plexus chakras. These deal with stability, community and identity.  

On a practical note, man has taken something once feared and learned to control it, mostly. We’ve turned it into something we can use. It cooks our food, warms our bodies, wards off predators, is used to forge tools and jewellery, and to light candles and incense for meditation. 

The idiom “Fight fire with fire” means to use the same methods against your enemies that they use on you. I think it comes from the method farmers and fire departments use by creating fire breaks to prevent fires and to control wildfires. Some other idioms and phrases are:

-          Burning to say something

-          Fire away

-          Add fuel to the flames

-         Blazing a trail

-          Burning bridges

-          Light a fire under someone

Our ancestors learned to use and appreciate it in spite of their fear, and without them doing so life would be much different. To a large extent, fire was instrumental in our evolution and there’s no denying it’s made our modern lives much more comfortable.

I think it’s inspiring that our ancestors faced their fears, and this year I’m going to try and do the same. I’m hoping to conquer my fears and use them to my benefit, or I’ll get burned in the process. Either way, it’ll be a life lesson and have value.

May you always have fire in your belly, just enough irons in the fire, and be capable of firing on all cylinders!

Photo by Tomáš Malík from Pexels

Sticks and Stones

 When someone tells me -they're offended, Im prone to say, Well, I'm still waiting to hear what your point is. Christopher Hitchens.

Some things offend me too, But honestly, my feelings are irrelevant. Dr. Richard Dawkins.

Dec 1989: My matric year, and boy did we know how to party back then! Camping in Hermanus and Saldanha bay, windsurfing by day and a bevy of local girls to flirt with in the evenings. It was paradise... with one small twist.

In the back of my mind... a niggling feeling.

As the three delightful weeks past, day by day the clock hand ticked louder and louder.

It would soon all be over and I was headed for the unknown.

On the 4th of January, my mother and father, loaded their three kids into the family car for a once in a lifetime outing. Five of us left the house, but only four would be returning home that day, forever.

Destination: Wingfield military base, where some smart looking army guys welcomed me with big smiles and an authoritative confidence. "He's in good hands Mam!" the burly soldier assured my mother.

On the bus it was another story.

We were handed a form to sign without getting to read it properly. It basically said we were now property of the SADF.

A huge warrant officer bellowed 'do's and dont's' all the way back to Saldanha bay, but this would be no holiday.

This was the beginning of basic training, aka- mind control camp. For the next three months we were drilled and grilled, humiliated, insulted, along with every disgusting thing that could be said about our mothers, shaven bald, with only an oversized overall to wear for the first month. Rank: Shark shit.

Apparently there was nothing lower. The point- to crack the psychologically weak.

We were warned that those stupid enough to attempt suicide had better do a good job because if you failed you would be court marshaled for damage to state property. Four boys did do a good job in those first two months. The rest of us made it through and received our uniforms as a sort of trophy. Forward two months on and we were shipped out to our service posts. I was in the navy, so next stop- seamanship school in Simon's Town. Two months on and I was assigned to the warship, SAS Drakensberg en route to Taiwan for the diplomatic mission, Operation Nexus. After a month at sea, sailing along the equator in stifling heat, forced to wear our blues and working 4 hour on, 4 hour off shifts the whole way, Taiwan was like another world. Strange wet markets with everything from puppies to snakes for sale... to eat. Prostitutes and drugs offered at every turn. It was protocol to wear our white uniforms for the first day in a new port, where we were treated like American GI's and the girls wouldn't leave us alone.

It was a sensory overload for a 20 year old kid.

My two scariest memories were, in reverse order, a stand off I had with a Taiwanese harbor guard frantically chasing two of our ships crew who had had a dispute with a taxi driver over fees and then made a run for the ship, late one night while I was on security detail on the gang plank. As the two ran up onto 'SA soil' the guard was in hot pursuit, weapon raised. He was not allowed on board. We pointed our weapons at each other for what felt like a sublime moment, both screaming incoherently, before I risked lowering mine and gesturing for him to do the same. He did, but it was touch and go for a second. The trigger on an Uzi is a sensitive animal.

But the scariest, was going on duty one night at 2 am on our way there some weeks before, as we headed straight into the eye of tropical cyclone Ikonjo, with 30 ft. swells and 150km/h winds, in the middle of the Indian ocean. The worst part was, as Able Seaman and Quartermaster on the bridge, I had to steer that ship. The pneumatic tiller packed up, then the hydraulic one too, so I was sent to a steel strong room in the base of the ship, just for'ed of the propeller, to man the big old manual steering wheel with only a compass and the captain bellowing coordinates through a crappy speaker. No windows and 375 lives on my conscience that night. After two hours I was relieved by my shit scared buddy who, unlike me has no sailing experience. At breakfast we were congratulated on a job well done.

We returned to a festive dockside, with navy bands and drum majorities and doting families in both Durban and Simon's Town.

I completed my National Service a few months later and returned home, no longer the boy with the hippy long hair, but a man who has done my service to my country. Luckily I didn't have to kill anyone, unlike many of my army peers who were sent to the border to fight APLA, SWAPO and UNITA. And luckier that those who never made it home.

None of it did me any psychological harm. It was my coming of age. I'm sure that most of my contemporaries agree - as testing as that time was for us.

Today I am aghast by this overwhelming discussion over gender fluid pronouns and how terribly offended these non binary people get when they are referred to in language we have used for at least a thousand years. Don't get me wrong. If you were born a boy and want to be a girl, by all means, that is your right. If you dress like a woman convincingly ( bar the Adams apple) and behave accordingly, I will respect that and call you her and she naturally, or vice versa for women who want to be men, although I am not easily fooled as females have a harder time really pulling off being like men. But be that as it may, I sometimes am confused. As for 100 different genders, I don't buy it. Legislating this, as is proposed in the UK and Canada and forcing the world to conform to these demands is a slippery slope to mass mental illness which will only confuse the majority of young children in their formative years.

Furthermore while men have specific roles to play, as do women. Sacred roles which men can never equally perform, both deserve equal 'human' rights, men and women are far from equal, socially and biologically. For one, for women to demand equality to real men they will have to give up their place on the life raft when the ship is sinking or negotiate who will face the intruder in the night. For men to transgender and demand to be treated as women in sport will destroy woman's sport instantly as the top 1000 male tennis players can beat Serena Williams according to rankings.

Not to mention boxing, wrestling and athletics. Gender fluid sport is not equal opportunity sport.

Fatherless families have a detrimental effect on many societies and gangsterism is more rife in areas where this is prevalent. Likewise mother- child bonding is as essential in early development. In early societies, mothers hand over the son to the father around age 7 to begin warrior training.

So let's put our feelings aside and think about the real consequences before we wake up in La-la land and a totally broken society. Bullying is the real problem on both sides.

Beware of the divide and rule strategy of the powers that be, who seek to divide us on every level.

If something or someone offends you, remember the old saying, sticks and stones... and just get over it.

Disclaimer: These are the opinions of the author and not the whole group. Your constructive criticism and comments are welcome. Slander and hate speech will be deleted.

Simply Superstitious

Cultures from all over the world are steeped in superstition. 

Some of us have family superstitions, some are cultural and some are adopted.

There are countless interesting superstitions and some are really strange like a Swedish one I came across; if you are handed a piece of cake and it falls to the side as you accept it, you will apparently never get married. Maybe that’s why I’m still single.

Walking under ladders, a black cat crossing your path, breaking a mirror are some of the common ones. From when I was a child I was one of those people who was thrilled when a black cat crossed me (I had to prove a point), deliberately walked under ladders, and celebrated Friday the 13^th  as my lucky day.

My family believes that taking the largest piece of the broken mirror and deliberately smashing it breaks the bad luck. Conversely, accidentally breaking a glass in the house dispels any negative energy. Yep, totally under the radar pagans.

Whether we are superstitious or not, there is that little nagging voice at the back of our minds messing with us when something “unlucky” happens.  I still break the biggest piece of the broken glass, just in case...

Life has dealt some of us some nasty blows and I can’t help but wonder if were there too many black cats, if I dared the universe a little too often, and if so can I undo it? If I put up a ladder and walk backwards through it will it change my luck? Do I have to go find white cats now, and when someone hands me a piece of cake, do I grab it before it has a chance to fall, or make it fall the other way, and which way is the other way, it’s all very non-specific.

As a child, I often dreamed of snakes.  Western belief is that it means your enemies are after you and the circumstance of the dream foretells their success or failure. This never made sense to me. As a small child, I certainly hope I didn’t have enemies!

Years later I found that in African culture dreaming of a snake means your ancestors are sending you a message or protection. I much prefer their interpretation and “adopted” it. I no longer wake up with dread after dreaming of a snake.

My perception has changed, to suit me, you might say.

Yes, definitely, and I feel better about it.

Other than us pagans, many cultures and religions put a lot of stock in dreams. Stories are written about them in holy books, and many households in the ‘80s and ‘90s had a dream dictionary or two, or three…

Look online and you’ll find all sorts of interpretations but I have to ask; do dream interpretations also fall under superstition? Or do we take them seriously because holy scripture includes them?

I still smile when I think about an old friend and self-proclaimed atheist who scoffed at all of what he referred to as “crutches”, but when I told him I had a dream about him he always paled, quite a feat for a Venda man.

Most of us are philosophers at heart, we have our beliefs, our moments of deep thought, and our own opinions. We see the world through our own eyes. Superstitions, culture, faith, we have our own vantage point depending on our seat at the table.

There are often unusual beliefs and rituals discussed on social media groups especially those run by groups that fall within the pagan umbrella. Keep an eye out and drop a comment if you’d like to share any interesting ones.  

Sweet dreams! 

Bring it on!

 

Each year without fail, a lot of us go and look at psychic predictions, numerology forecasts, and astrological readings for the year ahead. We have an interest in knowing what’s coming in the hope of two things, i.e. it’ll be a good one, and to prepare for whatever’s coming.  

2019 was not the easiest year, we looked for respite and got hit with 2020 (which started off fairly well in my opinion), and then through to 2021 at which stage we were all praying for deliverance. In many cases, predictions were all about change, disaster and upheaval, and we’ve all had front seats to attest to this. In fact, science fiction became reality.

The disaster that was COVID19 in 2020 saw millions of people out of work, economies taking strain, people living in fear, and paranoia setting in.  Many of us lost loved ones to COVID19 and some of you, like me, got seriously ill and/or lost your income.

By 2021, we were fed up with restrictions and challenging authority, sometimes openly flaunting the law. Along with social distancing has come awkwardness, the discomfort of being around others, a lack of closeness we didn’t even realise. Man is a social creature and the very foundations of community were rocked. The mental and emotional repercussions are yet to be discovered.

Looking back, the pandemic hasn’t all been bad. We’ve had time to reconnect with our families whether in person or virtually. Things we’ve always put off we’ve finally got to (mostly), and we’ve been able to tap into our creativity or maybe just get some much-needed rest. I believe in many cases we’ve gotten in touch with our spirituality once again. We’ve begun to notice the greatness around us and be thankful for all we have. We were forcibly stopped from being hamsters on a wheel and chasing money took a back seat. These are good things.

However, we’re tired of having to live with this pandemic, the freedoms we’ve had to sacrifice, and the losses in whatever form they’ve taken. Whether you believe it’s a conspiracy, an alien invasion, Mother Earth delivering her centennial plague, or God bringing us back to mindfulness, every single human being worldwide has been affected in some way. We’re simply sick of the subject and ready to put it behind us.

 The hardships we’ve endured and the lessons learned are all in preparation for what lies ahead in 2022. In the past few years, humanity has been part of strange times and watched history unfold. Great historical change never comes easy and I am grateful to bear witness. There is a shift coming, when or what, we do not yet know but can only hope it is to our benefit.

We can look ahead to 2022 expecting more of the same and shrugging our shoulders with resignation. We can claim to know it all, and face others with arrogance and anger, or, we can forge ahead as a collective, standing up for what we believe in and striving to make the world a better place, standing tall and proud in who we are.

I have not yet looked at predictions for the year ahead and I’ll embrace whatever it holds.

Bring it on 2022!

Pic downloaded courtesy of happynewyearall.com

The 5-second F.A.R.T rule before letting your animal out

 

We live in a civilized society, or so we led to believe, but how easily do fly off the handle and lose our temperament at the slightest provocation from some meaningless stranger?

Few people know that of the 21,000 murders South Africa manages on average per year 75% are by people that know each other and the majority of those are spousal or intimate relationship related. Crimes of passion are an understandable dilemma where cheating and deceit or alcohol and drugs are often the spark that lights the fire.

But strangers on the road, on Social Media or in public only get a kick out of our emotional immaturity when their behaviour gets us all worked up and in a rage.

 As a supposedly enlightened community professing to be advanced by means of our wisdom and knowledge of the human condition, we would be better served to observe the 5 second FART rule. That is to say that before we react we should take 5 seconds to breathe deeply and remind ourselves of who we are, what we stand for and reconsider what we've learned in our meditation.

If we are active spiritual practitioners, then reading, contemplation and meditation should be a part of our daily schedule. Apart from the task of silencing that chattering mind, meditation also serves to offer reflection.

Reflection on how to get from where we are to where we wish to be- psychologically. As the the eightfold path of Yoga for example teachers us to move from Yama to Nirvana.

To master our EQ (emotional quotient) automatically makes us nicer people and a nicer person gets what they want a lot easier. The pen is mightier than the sword.

Like Aesop's Fable about the sun and the wind remind us. One day the sun and the wind challenge each other to remove a man's cloak. The wind went first. It began to blow and blow, Harder, stronger, but the man only clung on tighter, wrapping the cloak around himself. When it was the sun turn, it simply shone consistently upon the man until he became so hot he chose to remove the cloak himself.

We know that we attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's just that in the moment, this wisdom seems to fail us and we burst out in a vitriolic rage that gets us nowhere.  

It is more powerful to empower others to make choices than to force them.

To win them over to your way of thinking than to over power with authority or attempt to embarrass them and often end up embarressing ourselves instead.

The 5 second rule is self empowering since your brain is super fast in its processing. 

Just 5 seconds are enough to send your emotions to the back of the bus while you recall your highest version of yourself to the drivers seat.

This silly acronym should help to remind you of your triggers. As you realise them bubbling to the surface, act not. As you notice...

F for frustration

A for anger

R for resentment

(Means you need a)

T for time out.

Then say the opposite to what you would have said. The more ridiculous the better. 

Sun Tau in his timeless classic -The Art of War states that the most powerful strategy of warfare has and always will be-

The element of surprise.

To end with another well known almost cliché,

It's better to loose the battle and win the war.

While this works just as well in the domestic environment, it is probably best practiced on the public first.

'Tis the reason to be jolly!

December means Christmas for many, Litha for those of us living south of the equator, and Yuletide for those to the north. The colours for Christmas; red, green, silver, and gold; are also used to celebrate Yule and Litha.  

Most of us were raised in a belief system other than those that fall within paganism and celebrated many religious holidays and we know the celebration of Christmas was aligned to the pagan festival of Yule possibly to either mollify or convert pagans to Christianity at the time.

Whatever our religious beliefs, we are inundated with decorations, music, movies, and messages about Christmas. We can’t help but be affected by the festivities. They often bring back memories of family and warmth, sometimes loneliness and fond reminiscing of those crossed over, or perhaps a longing for close ties which we may not have. And we all secretly wish for a Christmas miracle of our very own.

Although Christmas has become more about fun, festivities, gift swapping and feasting than about the birth of Jesus Christ, during this period people tend to be more generous towards each other, to those less fortunate or those who are different. We are more likely to engage in friendly conversation with a stranger and to be cheerful and kinder than usual. It’s a time when we look past the human form and we see the spirit of the person in front of us instead of the gender, race, or sexual orientation. We forget our bigotry and are more forgiving and tolerant. We see the Spirit in the person.

As pagans, we live this daily, or at least try to, we understand that skin colour, the shape of your eyes, or where you come from can be likened to the different homes we live in. Some are big, some are small, some are neglected and some are decorated and maintained. It all depends on the Spirit housed within.

Pagans strive for tolerance of others’ beliefs even when they are vastly different from our own and we know that judging others is not really what we’re here to do – unless it is. Each of us is here to learn and teach, to experience and evolve in some way, all on separate journeys.  We understand the spirit of giving and forgiveness, and that everything affects us as a collective.

This is what the rest of the world becomes at Christmas time.

What’s my secret wish for a Christmas miracle?

That we treat each other the way we do at Christmas, all year. 

*Photo by Any Lane from Pexels

To do list

 It is said that the average person reads two books a year.

And the average CEO reads three books a month.

December is always a welcome break to get into a book without as many interruptions. 

So here is a short list of some classics, not all novels, most are philosophical to one or other degree, but they will all have you rethinking your quest for the coming year. 

 

The Druid King - Norman Spinrad 

                                                                        
Stillness is the Key - Ryan Holiday

The Prophet Kalil Gibran

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Way of the Warrior Erwin McManus

The Art of War - Sun Tsu

Rules for a Knight - Ethan Hawke

How to Master the Art of Selling - Tom Hopkins

Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

Bagavad Gita - Vedic Masterpiece

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

Meditations - Marcus Aurelius

The Art of Happiness – Epicurus

Essential Epicurus– Epicurus

Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck

A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens (Most popular novel of all time)

 

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

 

Let us know in the comments which of these you've read. 

Feel free to add your favorites too.

 

Earth Blessings

Plants are wonderful creations. 

Man and animal have used them for millennia to heal, for flavour,  pleasure, and our well-being. 

After years of ignorance, disinterest, and profit, we have reached a place where we understand that we can't continue to decimate and abuse the gifts Mother Earth gave us. Deforestation is largely driven by greed, or for living space as populations increase. 

We sadly don't appreciate nature like our ancestors did. Think of stories from older relatives reminiscing about pickling, canning, and drying fresh produce they had grown themselves. Gifting, swapping, or storing those for colder seasons was standard practice when homemade was best and there was little variety of tinned goods. The shops were far, or maybe gran didn't drive and hubby put in a six-day week, shops closed early on Saturday and never opened on Sundays.

The modern age crept up and jobs opened up to more women. Big business began making more foodstuff available in cans and ready-to-eat meals. Microwaves were suddenly a necessity in many homes. Time became precious and healthy food less so. 

Fruit trees were seen as messy and time-consuming to manage, and in this country at least, people began getting rid of them. As children, we would climb the neighbours' walls and steal a peach or a plum, and run away when they came out of their home shouting about giving us a "hiding" (which I think is a term almost exclusively used in South Africa). Nearly every house in South Africa had a fruit tree whether you lived in the suburbs or in the more "upmarket" areas in a township. We knew who had which trees, whose yard we could get in and out of quickly, and which would have the neighbour showing up at our house to tell our parents that we were stealing their fruit - and getting that "hiding" for it. Still, it was worth it then and a lot of us have fond memories as a result.

Our municipalities do an annual prune, where they cut the branches of trees to make space around power cables. One day there would be a beautiful tree and the next day a big gaping hole in the middle or top of its foliage. This saddened me.

Then I noticed how the trees never let it get the better of them. They healed. Some started sprouting branches at the bottom or in the middle of their trunks, they became fuller at the base and continued growing up. A willow tree can grow after a lightning strike has toppled it. It's truly remarkable!

I have something akin to awe when it comes to trees. They provide life, shade, food, and housing for many creatures, including us. Trees are sturdy, resilient, watchful, and adaptable. They watch as decades and centuries go by, bearing witness to life and death, seasons past, and joy and sorrow. Like dinosaurs and birds, trees have been around since prehistoric times. Imagine if they could speak.

It is heartening to see the old ways come to the fore once again, and great that there are forums, social media, and websites where we can discuss what trees or plants are best for specific uses like the best suited to your garden, for a besom, or a set of runes. 

We've begun showing respect, care, and love towards nature. We communicate our thanks and appreciation when removing something. There's a renewed affinity with nature and each other. 

Whatever life throws at us, no matter how tough, we can learn and adapt. The last two years have been difficult for most, seemingly impossible for others. On the flip-side, this period has given much time to reflect and reconnect with nature. As a community, we are fortunate to have resources and skills (like meditation) to help us through it. When grounding, I picture people all over the world doing the same thing and all of us connecting at that moment. I often choose to emulate a tree when doing so with my roots reaching right down to the earth's core.

Patience, strength, determination, survival, dignity, humility, and at the same time pride in who you are. These are the properties of a tree worth emulating. 

Stand tall. Be true to yourself. Look within and acknowledge the strengths you hold. Adapt and build on your base if necessary. Nurture, take the time to nourish yourself too. Be kind without allowing others to cut you down or walk all over you. Rise again, stronger and when things get you down, as they sometimes do, look at your nearest tree, and remember...

Be like a tree.

Survive.

Thrive.

Tell your story.

Anger. Is it okay?

Society teaches us from a very young age to suppress our feelings unless they are positive. Even then it depends on the circumstances, culture, and whether it is deemed appropriate.

Boys don’t cry, tell your teacher about the bully, don’t show sadness, control your anger. We’ve heard these and other expressions used on a regular basis reinforcing the message that it’s not okay to feel or express ourselves openly. Often we are told to “toughen up” and carry on.

On the other hand, we all know those people that are just way too emotional, children don’t report bullying out of fear that it will get worse, and so on. If you’re familiar with chakras, you may point out here that these may be signs of either a blown or blocked root chakra.

This legacy is often carried with us into adulthood along with our other baggage causing various kinds of issues. We don’t know how to deal with a narcissistic colleague, a manipulative partner, the neighbour who oversteps boundaries, or our aunt who sits and cries about her abusive spouse, you know; the one she won’t leave.

I was pleasantly surprised to come across many Pagans when I moved to my new small-town home. Like me, most are quietly open about their beliefs, but unlike me, many of them are filled with anger. Mean, nasty, violent anger that shows itself for trivial occurrences stemming from deeper origins. I see it eating at them and getting in the way of their growth. It doesn’t matter what you’re angry about, if not channelled properly, it’s detrimental to your wellbeing.

For those of us that fall somewhere under the Pagan umbrella, chances are we’re peace-loving, but we’re also human, and let’s face it, when we’re angry, we struggle to meditate or do much of anything that benefits our greater good or that of the collective.

Society generally doesn’t like to make waves and this is particularly true of South Africans. We see the writing on the wall and let it happen. Is it fear, or complacency, or are we hoping someone else will deal with it? Then we get angry. We get angry and we don’t know what to do with it.

Is it okay to get angry? Yes, undoubtedly. Without it we wouldn’t learn to place boundaries, we wouldn’t stand up for ourselves or others. Getting angry has brought about change through protest action, sanctions, and even sadly, war. It has prevented global companies from destroying our fauna and flora, it has stopped human rights violations. It has taught respect.

Each of us is capable of extreme behaviour and though we may be loath to admit it, each of us is capable of harming another. If we are taught to deal with our anger through communication, through somehow using it to be creative, or even having a place to vent (I’ve heard of companies who have “scream rooms”, or punching bags) we may be better equipped.

What works for you?